


Some Angel That I Used To Know

by Tigre5s



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Dubious Consent, F/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Scent Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-06
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-05-18 18:56:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14858381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tigre5s/pseuds/Tigre5s
Summary: Castiel was your Commander and your best friend until he wasn’t.





	1. Feeling Used

**Author's Note:**

> Pairing: Angel!Reader x Castiel  
> Word Count: 1500  
> Warnings: None

You stood in silence in the park staring up at the stars. Your mind wandered over the last few months of your life. You questioned your heart, your allegiances and your loyal service. Through it all however you thought about Castiel.

You and Castiel had been together since the moment you were made. The light of the creator was the very first thing you ever saw but the very next sight was the light of Castiel, the light of your commander. You were the very first of his garrison, the one and only scout in the entire company, and as such you were gifted with certain abilities. You could track angels, demons, some monsters and you possessed the ability to hide your light from all but your father. You served your commander with all you had and you thought you’d be together forever. Even after he started consorting with the Winchesters you were always in his corner, the only voice raised in his defense during his absence in heaven. He was your leader, fearless, strong, honorable and you were practically his right hand, resourceful, trustworthy and true.

You smiled sadly, recalling the happiest moments of his existence that he only shared with you. You thought of how his light pulsed with joy when you would share your most celebratory moments with him. Only him. 

Closing your eyes and lowering your head you thought of the day your heaven began to crumble. He was so excited to be entrusted with such a task. You remembered scouting ahead of him disarming traps and alarms as the two of you infiltrated hell to rescue who you’d later learn was the sword of Michael. Your melancholy sigh turned to fog in the cool night air as you recalled how magnificent your commander was as he stormed the bowls of hell. A wistful smile pulled at your lips at the thought of how his light sparkled with assurance and confidence.

Then you grimaced remembering that not soon after that he began sneaking off to visit earth without orders. You just happened to be on your way to his chamber for a report when you noticed him moving suspiciously fast down the corridor to the earth portal. You followed and finally caught up with him as you both emerged from a column of light in this same park.

In fact you were staring at the exact same spot where…  
~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
...your hand grabbed his shoulder. He spun, immediately falling into a defensive stance. As you’d done many times in training you dropped into a defensive posture as well. When he finally realized who you were he dropped his guard.

“What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be-”

“Reporting to you on the missions progress?” you finished folding your arms.

He sighed and you realized he’d forgotten. Which was entirely unlike him. You weren't sure what worried you more. 

“I have something to check on. I’ll debrief you when I return.”

“We both know you aren't coming back,” you accused.

“Y/N, are you questioning me?”

“Of course not, I’m asking to come with you.”

“No.”

“Commander-” you were about to protest and demand that he let you accompany him but he silenced you with a kiss. You froze.

“I need you in heaven. I can’t trust anyone else but you.” He pressed his lips to yours again. Softer this time, a little longer this time. It was an action you’d learned from Amoriel to mean ‘I care for you a great deal’. Stunned and humbled at such a human display of affection from him you nodded and reluctantly returned.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~Present~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You never stopped thinking of how your light warmed and flickered at the touch of his lips. Though you hadn't fully realized it then, that was the moment your loyalty shifted from heaven to him. Until then the two had been the same.

He has a reason. He always has a reason and as his scout you didn’t need to know the reason. You simply needed to trust him and follow orders. That’s what you told yourself so many times you had almost started to believe it.

Clenching your fist you mentally berated yourself for your blind stupidity. Every other angel saw how far he’d fallen. Every one but you labeled him a traitor, unfit to lead, unworthy of his wings. But that damned kiss. That one human moment. A moment that threw into crystal clear focus why man was willing to end the world, why women cried rivers of tears, why the birth of a child is a miracle. Your Commander had betrayed heaven and rebelled against God and still you stood by him. All because of a fucking kiss. You screamed your frustration and pain to the stars. 

How much have they scene? You wondered with a bitter laugh. How many times has this story played out? Is this a rerun or a season premiere starring a foolish scout and her oblivious superior? You only hoped that the resolution would include that demons vicious demise. Which brought your thoughts back to the events of the last twelve hours. 

********Earlier that same day********

After Castiel went rogue you were assigned to Naomi’s unit. Her first and only assignment for you was to find Castiel and report back to her directly. It’d been months and Naomi was not pleased with your lack of success.

“ Y/N, this is unacceptable. You are the number one scout in all of heaven and you're telling me you can't find the one angel you were designed to serve?”

You knew you were walking a dangerous line but that was just it. You were design to serve him and you would for as long as you knew his light shined.

“Ma’am, he is my command-”

“WAS! He was your Commander. I am your Commander now.”

“Yes, Ma’am”

Still, you told her you couldn't find Castiel which wasn't a lie. You couldn't find him because for you he’d never been lost. It wasn't your problem that she wasn't asking the correct question. You knew exactly where your Commander was but you weren't about to allow the wrath of heaven to rain down on him. You couldn't keep the hounds at Bay forever though and you knew Naomi was having you followed. Your loyalties had been under question ever since you defended Castiel when the rest of his garrison started fighting over succession. 

Naomi took a deep exasperated breath. “No matter. If you cannot find him, I have other methods. Your dismissed.”

You started to leave when, “ Y/N , do not fail me again or I will not be so amiable next time.”

Her words didn't scare you but deceiving your fellow angels made you sick nonetheless. You had been feeding information to Castiel when you were out “looking” for him. However recently it had become to dangerous for in person meetings, so you two had devised a schedule of pickup locations to exchange information. What you didn’t like about this method was that you couldn’t tell if he’d received any of your latest messages. 

You knew you would only have one shot to warn him of how close Naomi and the others were to finding him and this time they weren't just going to drag him back to heaven. 

Sneaking out of heaven was easy but your usual vessels face was to well known by other scouts and cupids. You’d be found out instantly even with you hiding your grace. So first you needed to find a new vessel. You found a lovely bronze skinned woman with y/h/l curly hair. She was dying and so was very glad to serve an angel with her passing. You tracked Castiel to an underground facility in Kansas, USA following the distinct hum of his grace. You finally appeared in what you imagined must be the library.

A loud rhythmic knocking sound was echoing through the halls and suddenly you heard a sort of crash in the hallway. You turned the corner to find the Winchesters lowering their weapons and staring into a door with bewildered expressions.

“Cas...wanna explain why the hell you and some girl are in Sam’s bed?” the older Winchester asked in a more than annoyed tone of voice. 

“Uh Dean, this is your room,” said the taller one.

“Son of a bitch!” 

Puzzled, you stealthily stepped around the shorter man and found your commander wrapped in the naked embrace of a demon. You stumbled backwards with a torturous ache building in the pit of your stomach so painful your eyes began to shine with unshed tears. You knew a lot about human intimacy. As a scout, many of your friends and earth-side contacts were cupids and lets just say cupids are well versed in the arts of human love. You’d never forget the pleasure filled look on his face or the demons smug smirk over his shoulder.

“Y/N” Castiel whispered in shock when he finally noticed you behind the boys, still buried to the hilt inside her. “Y/N, this isn’t...It’s not…”

You didn’t give him a chance to explain. If the moment he rescued Dean was the moment your heaven started to crumble, this was the moment it turned to dust. The brothers turned raising their weapons in surprise but with a rustle of feathers you were gone. 

At first you were going to return to heaven and accept whatever punishment they inflicted but then you remembered you had left to warn him. So you’d come to the park and hoped he would come to look for you there eventually. Yesterday you’d have been sure he would but now nothing was sure anymore. 

The Castiel you knew would never lay with a demon but then the Castiel you knew wouldn’t turn his back on heaven. He wouldn’t manipulate you with a kiss. He wouldn’t use you. He wouldn’t rebel. 

Except he had. 

This was not Castiel. You knew Castiel. This was someone else. This was...what did Dean call him?... Cas. Cas was a stranger capable of anything. You did not know Cas. So you sat in the park and hoped Cas would show up for Castiel’s sake at least.


	2. Where in Godstiel won't take no for an answer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Angel!Reader x Godstiel  
> Word Count: 2500  
> Warnings: noncon, rape (Seriously, If it’s not your thing please don’t read.) oral(female receiving), unsafe sex, fingering, forced orgasm, implied dom / sub themes, scent kink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again...no pleasure in writing Castiel in a way that would make me hate him but alas here we are. There’s some fucked up Godstiel smut in this chapter…ya know...if you’re into that sort of thing. Which apparently I am because I wrote it...Scoot over Mr. Bus Driver, next stop hell.

Cas ran through the park calling your name.

You took a deep breath to calm yourself just as he entered the clearing.

“Y/N…please,” he said as he neared you. Swiftly, you replaced the distance.

“Must’ve been good if you couldn’t pull out before now,” you said in a voice too calm.

Castiel stared at you desperately searching for the right words, “It’s not what it looked like. She… and Crowley …she…they tricked me.”

“Big surprise,” you snarked with barely restrained vitriol. “She’s a demon and your a damn angel. The one thing that should absolutely not be possible is for you to be tricked by a damn DEMON!!!” you screamed unable to contain the rage anymore.

“Y/N…”

“NO!! I don’t want to hear it. No apologies. No excuses because none of it will ever absolve you of this… _Cas_ ,” you spat. The Winchesters pet name was like sour milk on your tongue. “Do you know what I endured in your name in heaven? How alone I was for standing up to the rest of those self righteous pigeons because I had faith in you? It was so hard to keep my wings held high in the face of all the criticism and doubt.”

You tremble with anger thinking of all you’d bore in his name, for his honor, for your duty.

“Especially, when Naomi and her lackeys tormented me for sticking by you. When they tried to…to…” you couldn’t finish the sentence. Castiel advanced again, brushing his wing against yours. You flinched away.

“Naomi and the others are on your trail. I came to warn you. There are other scouts tasked to find you now. I cannot protect you anymore.”

Castiel shook his head. His face a picture of worry. “If they re-assigned the mission then you’re in danger now too. Come with m-,” he said grabbing your arm. You wrench yourself out of his grasp.

“Don’t you get it, Cas? I’m done being your tool.”

“Y/N, just calm down. I know you’re upset but if you would just listen.” He pleaded dragging you into his arms this time. You broke his hold and slapped him. You were too angry to notice that you broke free too easily.

Cas stared at you in stunned silence and you disappeared.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Months pass. Castiel thinks of you constantly but hasn’t had time to really search for you as his adventures with the Winchesters continue. In a desperate bid to quell the war in heaven and finally correct his mistakes he turns to the very creature responsible for the situation you found him in, Crowley.

“What have you got to lose, lover boy? Help me and you stand a chance of fixing heaven and finding your girlfriend,” Crowley crooned.

Cas scowled at the King of Hell.

“Or you can wait for the apocalypse to reboot,” the demon shrugged. “Your choice, kitten.”

Reluctantly Castiel agreed, which is how he acquired the power to find you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You raised your weapon in a flash when Cas suddenly appeared before you in your hotel room.

“Hello, Y/N.”

“How did you find me?” you whispered quickly looking around for any accomplices.

“A god does as he pleases and it pleased me to find you,” he smiled.

You frowned lowering your weapon. “What’s wrong with you? You’re light is…”

“Stronger? Brighter?”

“Tainted,” you sneered feeling like his ego needed to be taken down a peg. "But I guess that’s par for the course when you lay with demons.”

Cas’s lips were almost a snarl as he glared at you, “I admit that I have made mistakes in the past but I have changed. I’m better now. I can see a bright future for all of us and I invite you serve me again.”

“Go fuck yourself,” you snarled, then suddenly you were in Castiel’s tight grip.

“As your new father it is my responsibility to guide you. I will teach you how to serve me,” your former superior said before claiming your mouth in a bruising kiss.

You struggled to get free but he was much stronger than he should be, so you bit him instead.

Momentarily surprised, he released you and you took the opportunity to slap him again. “What the hell are you on about? I am not your child, you are not god and I refuse to serve you anymore.”

He licked the blood from his already healed lip. “You should reconsider. I care for you deeply. I do not want to destroy you. Let me persuade you,” he soothed snapping his fingers.

You looked down at your naked form and then back up as his.

“Don’t you come near me. I don’t know what’s wrong with you but don’t touch me!” you warned, lashing out at him as he pulled your smaller form into his. His touch was gentle but firm. He wasn’t hurting you but you couldn’t escape.

“I know you’re angry. I can feel your pain,” he murmured between kisses as he withstood your assault, caging you in his arms. “Let me heal you, my child,” he whispered against your skin.

You fought and screamed and he continued to hold you and pepper you with kisses wherever his mouth could reach. Your anger eventually melted into tears and you stilled in his arms. He pressed his lips to yours over and over until the tears stopped. He slid his tongue across your lower lip seeking entrance. You gasped at the unexpected sensation and he pulled your lip into his mouth sucking gently. The feeling went straight to your core and you buckled in his arms. He scooped you in his arms and placed you on the bed.

“Tell me, Y/N, have you experienced any of the things Amoriel use to talk about?“

He trailed his hands down your vessels form and you could feel his light merging with yours just beneath the surface of your skin. It was sickening. Your vessel felt electrified in a way you didn’t want to admit that you liked. You just glared at him.

“Silent treatment?” he huffed a laugh and  moved his hand lower cupping your sex, towering over you. “You always did like it when I took control. Do you think I didn’t notice how you lit up when I gave orders. How you would shine just a little bit brighter when I would pin you. Did you think I couldn’t feel you hum a little higher at my proximity,” he taunted running his finger through your folds. You shivered. He licked his slick coated finger clean and smiled then began rubbing your clit in small circles.

“You can have that again,” he pressed a little more firmly. “You can have me,” he offered in appeal to your repressed desires, his torturous, taunting circles never wavering. “Return to my side. Serve me,” he bid but you remained silent except for the moans you couldn’t repress.  

“Your resistance is vexing,” he lamented, fondling your breast until your nipple stood near painfully erect. He loomed over you and pulled the other into his mouth, sucking hard enough to pull a gasp from your lips.

“Perhaps you need a demonstration of my love and mercy.” He kissed his way down your stomach and nestled himself between your legs.

 _Run_. You thought. _He’s not holding you down. You could run. You could esca-_

That notion vanished the moment he licked the insides of your thighs and traced the hood of your mound. Gently he spread your lips with his grace and inhaled your scent. You trembled, afraid and aroused.

“Would it be cliche if I said you smelled heavenly?” he smiled devilishly up at you. Still you remained silent staring daggers at him though your cheeks were completely flushed.

Finally, he licked you. He swirled his tongue around your clitoris before suctioning over it and massaging relentlessly. You inhaled sharply and bit the inside of your cheek to fight the pleasure. You refused to give him the satisfaction. You were an angel. You were not susceptible to such desires just because you had a vessel. You can resist. You would resist.

Still sucking your clit, he slipped two fingers into your core and pressed against your sweet spot in time with his tongue. You were gripping the sheets so tight they were starting to come off. Cas was fully aware of the effect he was having but he needed you to cry out. He wanted to revel in your submission and your cries of pleasure were the only acceptable sound of triumph. You moaned through clenched teeth and tried to think of anything that would stem the wake of your impending climax. The sheet finally snapped off the bed and Cas groaned his pleasure at your weakening resolve. You grabbed his hair pulling and pushing him in an attempt to escape the pleasure about to drown you. He pulled his fingers from within you and grabbed your hands, pinning them to your thighs as he pulled you back into place and growled his disapproval at your resistance. That angry frustrated vibration through your core was the last push that sent you over the edge.

You came screaming a string of expletives but he didn’t stop. Cas continued sucking a little harder until you shattered again.

“Fucking, fuck you, you worthless crow!” you half moaned, half screamed as another pulse of pleasure went through you.

“I hate you, you fucking fail pile of feathers!” you cried and he continued. Your thighs quivered uncontrollably over his shoulders and he smiled into your cunt as you drenched his face with yet another release.

Tears ran unchecked down your cheeks. “I hate you. I hate you. I fucking hate you,” you sobbed pitifully and he slowed running long lazy laps from your entrance to your clit and back again. Enjoying the feel of your toes tickling his side as your legs trembled from his ministrations.

 _A little more_ , he thought. _Just a little more_ , and he latched onto your sensitive over stimulated clit again and moaned as you involuntarily shuddered in his grasp. He built up speed gradually as he felt you writhe and buck against him. His grace pushed into your core and targeted your sweet spot. It didn’t take long for you to cum again squirting like a porn star. He drank it in pleased with the taste of this small victory but he wasn’t done.

He replaced his grace with his fingers again and continued until the bed was soaked, until you couldn’t stop shaking, until your body was limp and drained and only your words were hateful. Your hand was cramped with how tight you were gripping his dark locks but the tone of your voice had turned softer, lucid. Castiel slid up your body and nestled his nose in your neck, smiling at how your cunt was still clenching hungrily around his fingers.

“Oh god,” you moaned and you couldn’t help but press up into him. Your body seeking things without your minds permission.

“Yes, my child. Revel in the love of your new god,” he whispered in your ear.

“Fuck you,” you whimpered.

“Ask and you shall receive. Your god is here to serve you,” Cas lined himself up with your entrance and slowly pushed into you, savoring the feel of your wet heat squeezing him, surrounding him.

You tried again to get away from him but still weak from multiple orgasms he easily held onto you and rolled so you were straddling him. He pulled you down more firmly on his cock, sliding home in one thrust.

Newly infuriated by his intrusion you attacked him again pushing and shifting. Again he stood fast in the face of your fury, merely holding you as you struggled.

“That’s what I love about you.” He grunted as you landed a solid elbow. “Always such a fighter. Such fire. So strong. So fearless.” He rolled to pin you to the bed again and sucked on your pulse point when you wouldn’t stay still enough for him to kiss you properly. Somehow this felt even more intimate than kissing as he fucked you with deep, slow, hard, strokes. Grinding his pelvis into you with every invasion. Sucking your neck a little harder with every withdraw. You could only arch in sheer pleasure as he filled you over and over, feeling confused and angry that a part of you was enjoying this. Enjoying how he handled you with strength and care. Enjoying how every push seemed to shove something more than his cock into you.

You hated that it was him making you feel this way. Hated how you loved the heat of his breath against your neck. Hated that you weren’t the only person he’d done this with. Hated how you like the feel of his thighs flexing beneath your calves forcing you open wider for him; how he was still manipulating you with this tainted pleasure; how he was gentle with your body but emotionally sadistic. He never needed whatever this barely restrained power tainting his light was to dominate you and you hated that he knew that.

 

A quiet sob escaped your lips as you realized you were fucked and it had nothing to do with the self proclaimed god between your thighs. He let your arms go and hooked your knees over his shoulders. Then he pinned your arms to your sides. He looked over your face, covered in tears and stared deep into your eyes as he continued to drive into you. He kissed your calf and nipped at your thigh and you clenched reflexively. He dropped his head, pressing his forehead against yours and moaned speeding up his thrusts. Your body revved in response and this new angle had him hitting your spot dead on, every thrust. You took deep breaths trying not to let another orgasm overwhelm you as he pummeled into your pleasure point.

“Embrace me as your new god,” he panted. “Accept me as your father and the joys I shall bestow upon you will be boundless,” he growled drilling into you faster. “Surrender to me your heart. Say my name, Y/N, serve me again.” he demanded and you groaned shaking your head in refusal.

“Say. My. Name!,” he commanded again punctuating his words with increasingly punishing thrusts.

Your eyes clouded with un-shed tears as you teetered on the precipice of pleasure once again. You wanted it to be possible, to be able to go back to the way it was before the apocalypse, before the Winchesters.

“Please,” he pleaded in a whisper against your lips, his rhythm faltering. But you knew you could never go back. None of you could ever go back and so you bit your lip hard enough to draw blood and distract you from his sensory onslaught.

He roared at your persistent struggle against him. His grace encircled your clit and he pulled a nipple into his mouth sucking hard and harsh. He pulsed and buzzed his grace around that sweet bundle of nerves with purpose dragging you over the edge screaming his name. Cas came deep inside you with a triumphant groan before he collapsed beside you and pulled you into his chest. His hold was soft but you knew if you tried to move it’d be like trying to escape a steel cage.

A few minutes pass and soon he’s lazily stroking your arm. He kisses your shoulder, “No matter what you may think of me. Please know that I love you. I have always loved you.”

You couldn’t speak. Your bliss-addled mind was still trying to absorb what just happened. You soaked the pillow in silent tears that night. Some tears were for him, others were for you but most of them were for what could have been.


	3. who are we to judge

_ What perfection my father hath wrought in the form of man? Infinite incarnations of individuals ideal in their purpose to express pain and anguish. He must have given you eyes to behold horrors and shelter tears. Surely your heart's were made for the express reason of inflicting enduring agony and lips...oh lips, the doorway by which all evil enters into your lives. Yes, eyes behold the horrors but lips and teeth and tongue and ears are the cause. It's so easy to see how difficult living is now that you can taste the pain of man so acutely. What once was the breath of life can suddenly suffocate you without mercy. Who but God could craft something so divinely damned? _

 

On and on your thoughts went in a seemingly endless monologue on the state of man and life and angels until the sun rose and Castiel suddenly turned away from you writhing in pain. 

“Cas,” you tried, growing more concerned as black viens laced his neck.

“Something is wrong,” he grunted before he vanished.

“Castiel!” you screamed staring at the spot that only a moment before held your former commander. “Castiel!” you screamed again fully expecting him to come back. Minutes passed and you realized he wasn’t going to return. 

Grabbing a pillow you screamed and cried for you don’t know how long. 

 

_ What just happened? Was it your fault? You should have just talked to him before. This never would have happened if you’d just listened to him. Why did he leave?  _

 

Questions flew through your mind as you continued screaming into the pillow. Once you’d screamed yourself hoarse you suddenly you felt filthy. You made your way to the shower and scrubbed your skin raw but nothing could clean away the shame.

 

_ You filthy whore. You’re no better than that demon. He took you against your will and you liked it. _

 

Your mind railed against you as you sank to the floor of the shower, fresh tears mingling with the water. “Amoriel,” you inaudibly prayed.

“Sister! Sister I heard you call,” She yelled moving through the room to find you. 

“Sist-,” she pulled back the shower curtain and froze.

“Oh Father, Y/N, what happened?” she breathed pulling you from the shower. 

The tears never stopped and she cradled you in her arms on the floor.

“It’s ok lovie, I’m here. You’re ok.” she soothed. “Talk to me, lovie. What happened?”

You recounted through sobs and tears the events of the previous night.

“Oh, my sister,” she cried. “Castiel has fallen so far. I am so very sorry he added your pain to his list of transgressions.”

You didn’t register the fact that she’d said  _ list  _ of transgressions. “If had onl-.”

“No,” Amoriel interjected, “No, Y/N. This was not your fault. None of this was your fault.” 

Before you knew it you found yourself back in heaven, clad in white robes. As she walked you through the halls you vaguely noticed there were significantly fewer angels milling about. She took you to her heaven and settled you on a restoration cloud. The last thing you saw was her gentle smile before you fell into regenerative statis.

Two days later you awoke to find Amoriel writing furiously. With her back to you, you noticed her wings were nearly bare of feathers.

“Amoriel,” you gasped, “What happened to  _ you _ ?”

Dropping her quill she turned to you smiling. “Never mind that now. You need to rest,” she deflected, beginning to reset the healing apparatus.

“Amoriel...tell me.” You insisted, stilling her hand.

The younger angel held your gaze a moment before she sighed then began to catch you up on the civil war and how Castiel wiped out over half of the angels in heaven because they refused to serve him.

 

_ “You should reconsider...I do not want to destroy you.”  _  You shivered recalling his icy ultimatum.

 

“We’ve been searching for him for near a month,” she concluded just before an all hands message came blaring through angel radio. Castiel had been found and the angels were rallying together to smite him.

Amoriel’s expression was a mix of pity, sadness and compassion. “You don’t have to -” she started but you shook your head.

“No, I’ve allowed my heart to rule my decisions for too long. My brothers and sisters may still be alive if I had given Naomi Cas’s location long ago. It is the least I can do for them.”

“ Y/N , you are the most extraordinary angel I have had the pleasure to share eternity with. Your kindness and loyalty and love for your commander is without peer. So please try not to get angry when I say that you’re full of shit. Smiting Castiel with the rest of us won’t make you feel better and it won’t restore our brothers and sisters to life. So if you do this, do it because you refuse to be anything else but true to yourself. But I think you’ll find that vengeful, wrathful, spiteful angel is not your true self.”

Amoriel stood taking her blade in her hand and with one look back she left for the showdown.

Maybe you weren’t a vengeful, spiteful, wrathful angel but that didn’t mean couldn’t take pleasure in watching the former angel of the lord pay for his sins. So, you stood a fair distance from the action and observed Castiel's bloodied form on his knees beneath the thundering murder of  angles.

Your eyes narrowed at his submissive posture. He looked broken, defeated. Slowly you moved closer. His face came into focus and you could see his lips moving quickly in fervent prayer. Then it came to you.

 

**_“ Y/N , I’m sorry. I’m sorry you suffered at the hands of our brothers and sisters. I’m sorry I left you. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I never did right by my love for you but most of all I’m sorry you did not fall in love with humanity as I did. I hope you one day see why, though I wish I could have avoided the pain I caused, I regret nothing. Every action I took was worth it for mankind to continue to exist.”_ **

 

Angry tears welled up in your eyes but not for him. You were angry at yourself. Furious that you only now realized your commander had been there all along. Still true to his original order from our father himself to protect humanity. A command that every other angel including yourself seemed to have forgot. Humbled, Castiel stood ready to accept his fate. In that moment you saw it, as pure and bright as the day you were made. The angel that you use to know. It was faint but it was him. The one you’d known since the world’s first light. The angel that always did what was right and you knew you couldn’t let his story end here.

Screaming in Enochian to be heard over the roar of wrath you appeared between Castiel and angels. 

“No!” Castiel protested. 

Naomi appeared before you scowling. “Take it back,” she said through clenched teeth.

“You know that's not how this works Naomi.”

Amoriel appeared behind Naomi smiling sadly.

“Dammit, Y/N, I will not allow another angel to die because of his mistakes,” she yelled pointing at Castiel, “To hell with this new testament clause,” Naomi protested.

Castiel looked stunned, “Don’t do this. I’m not worth it.”

“No, you’re not,” you hissed at him over your shoulder,” but humankind is. Fulfilling our purpose is.” You turned back to Naomi. “Maybe he is a broken pile of feathers unfit to bear the name our father bestowed upon him but he’s the only one of us who remembers what he was created for.” 

Looking up at the rest of the angels still poised to strike Castiel down, you continued. “God made us to protect humans. He made us to watch over them and keep them safe. When Castiel saw angels breaking that most basic command, he fought back. MY Commander fought back. I hate him for it. I hate him for it all. For the deaths, for the pain but more than I hate him, I hate what we have become. A pack of squabbling vultures vying for position and power. We have strayed from our purpose and now dare to judge and punish the one among us who held the course. Who are we to judge? Are we all gods now? Were father to appear at this moment I would be ashamed. So I say I again,” now speaking in Enochian, “  _ I invoke the right of Christ. My life for his sins. _ ”

Amoriel was the first to drive her blade into the ground and walked away. Slowly, more angels followed suit until only Naomi stood before you. Her blade clutched tight in her hand. 

“He never deserved you. I begged our father to give you to me. Serve me,” she asked, “I will cherish you for the gift you truly are.” Naomi pleaded, cupping your cheek.  

 

Shaking your head slowly you stepped back. “End me, Naomi. No matter what I think or feel of him I will serve him for as long as I know his light shines.”

 

Her hand fell to her side, defeated. If looks were bullets the expression she shot Castiel would have rivaled a nuclear warhead and so, with an angry cry the seraph raised her blade and you stood ready to accept your fate. 


End file.
